Sex & Love Addiction
“It’s about what goes on in the brain and how a person is preoccupied and obsessing. There are groups of things/behaviors and thoughts that occur, like a map.” –Dr. Patrick Carnes
What makes a sex addict?
Sexual addiction is characterized by out-of-control (compulsive) sexual behavior with marked consequences. Sex addicts use denial, rationalizing, minimizing, and lying to avoid the truth to themselves and others. Closeness and committed relationship are difficult. Sexual behaviors are used to escape painful and stressful feelings. Without treatment and recovery, overcoming sexual addiction can be very difficult. The sex addict typically cycles through an addictive cycle of preoccupation, ritualization, compulsive sexual behavior, and despair (shame).
Services offered address these complex feelings and problems while promoting sex health as an important achievement in recovery. Understanding the difference between healthy sex and all-consuming sex is the key to beginning a constructive recovery. This task is not easy and requires hard work and commitment. The time it takes to heal should be considered an “Investment” in forging a healthy and happy life for yourself and your family.
Treatment plans include individual, group, and couples counseling. Sex Addicts 12-Step support group is highly recommended. Outpatient and Residential programs are optional depending on assessment scores and recommendations. As a cause of the usual extensive childhood abuses with a sex addict, trauma is also apart of treatment. The goal is learning to set healthy boundaries and practice intimacy levels that provide safety, support, and compassion. For a preliminary test, click here.
Initial meetings begin with screening tests and an assessment. An assessment is provided to determine the presenting problem(s) and design a treatment plan best suitable for you to heal. If possible, the spouse is asked to attend when gathering information to get a “big picture.”
What makes a love addict?
Love addiction is characterized by compulsive patterns that lead to painful experiences for the love addict, love addict’s partner, and at times family members. Unhealthy behaviors in romance and sexuality can damage the potential of having productive and supportive relationships with spouses, significant others, and partners. Other consequences are sexually transmitted diseases, lost of self, termination of jobs, legal battles over custody of children, domestic violence, and even death.
The causes of love addiction are rooted in early life experiences, such as, childhood; sexual, physical and emotional abuses, abandonment, and neglect are common factors that contribute to love addiction. Looking for the absolute lover (someone to make them feel whole) is a false way of feeling secure when one lacks healthy self-esteem or feels insecure in relating to other people. Also, phenylethylamine (PEA) a chemical in the brain that creates a euphoric feeling thet rises and the love addict can become dependent on the physical and psychological arousal provided by PEA- hence always looking for the next high and infatuation of new love interests.
Treatment plans include individual, group, and couples counseling. Sex and Love Addict 12-Step support groups is highly recommended. Outpatient and Residential programs are optional depending on assessment scores and recommendations. As a cause of the usual extensive childhood abuses with a love addict, trauma is also apart of treatment. The goal is learning to set healthy boundaries and practice intimacy levels that provide safety, support, and compassion. For a preliminary test, click here.
Partner’s of Sex Addicts
Just learning of your partner’s sexual behaviors of which you were not a participant can be very devastating and disheartening. Feelings of physical illness, betrayal, and confusion may effect you. This is a traumatic and challenging experience. You do not have to go through this alone. Seeking support with a professional and acknowledgeable counselor will help you greatly. If you choose to remain in the relationship it can be a rocky road to recovery for both you and your partner.
Learning how to love again and even sometimes differently can save your relationship and strengthen your bond. There is a process that occurs after that discovery is made that feels and looks like shock. It can feel like the relationship is ending; however, through therapy, couples have a safe place to explore core problems and learn life-changing exercises to create a new and healthy way of being together. Love, respect, and healthy sexuality are renewed.
Recovering from sexual abuse requires a strong support system, compassion and a sensitive plan toward healing and living a fulfilling life. Traumatic experiences happen everyday; although, there are some more painful than others. Those traumatic experiences that haunt us and rob us of happiness are those that require some tender loving care and attention to detail so the pain is recognized, controlled, and resolved.
Sexual addiction recovery involves elevating steps and each step being a critical point in the healing process. This multi dimensional disorder is best treated when the individual is ready to make a commitment to the healing process. Harmful long standing behaviors are transformed to encourage healthy sexual behavior.
Initial meetings begin with screening tests and an assessment. An assessment is provided to determine the presenting problem(s) and design a treatment plan best suitable for you to heal. If possible, the spouse is asked to attend when gathering information to get a “big picture.”
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